Years ago, I was telling someone a story that at the time was the most painful thing I had ever gone through. I was totally blown away by their response to me and needed to think about it. I spent 3 days dissecting their reaction as well as my pain. I realized something that became a eureka moment for me. Not everything is as it seems to you. What was my worst pain sounded like the most beautiful story they had ever heard to them. Over three days I kept seeing a Rolodex in my mind flipping to different people who would all have viewed the events of that time differently. I thought if 100 people were there would have been 100 different reactions. Then I realized that I chose it to be negative rather than positive. Why would I do that? Why wouldn’t I have looked at it for the beauty that it was? Then it hit me that I chose. I literally chose how to view it, my reaction to it, how I acted through it, and how I chose to store it away in my mind. It also hit me that my reaction no matter which way I choose is having an impact on others. Which one of those 100 people would have been better for the people in my life to spend time with and be around? Certainly not the negative one!
I have carried that Rolodex of 100 people around with me since then and deliberately choose who I am going to be today, in this moment. Sometimes my body wants to react one way like a knee-jerk reflex but I, the soul that dwells in this meat sack of a body am above my animal instincts and can choose a different way if I want to. Sometimes it can be hard to override because the situation you are in can be overwhelming. The truth is that you can even at that moment be in control if you can get ahold of yourself.
I admire so many qualities in people that I know that maybe you are one of my 100 in that Rolodex. I paint those qualities as a type of code in different faces I find fascinating. I shut my eyes and thank them for all they do and wish to have those qualities for myself as well. I wake up and think about who I will choose to be today. What alter ego will I become for the moment? Then I work on it that characteristic that day. Lately, I am drawing laughter and lightheartedness. It’s too sad to be so serious all of the time even though I have a tendency to be that way.
So, who will you choose to be today?