I am sitting on the step of my facility listening to my boss tell me that she knew I had been to one of their sister facilities earlier in the day. She told me the director of nursing (DON) called her from Norman to let her know. I had been there supporting a friend earlier in the day who was applying for a job. She told me that the DON thought I was cocky and if I wanted to go to work there, she wouldn’t stop me. The Norman DON had only overheard part of our conversation and I am the least cocky person I know. I thought my DON had to be making it up. I also had the wish she would have heard the whole thing because I had been talking about how nice of a place it was to work because I had done clinicals there when I was in nursing school, and I had been impressed. The building was new, and all the employees seemed to be very nice. I thought about how much better the working environment would be here if they hired me, so I had grabbed an application.
My DON was not a nice person. She had no idea who I was, how my mind worked and didn’t know my home life. She had no idea that I was a 24-hour a day caregiver to a multihandicapped child. She did not know that I was grateful to be able to leave the house and work which I considered a break from my regular routine. She did not know how happy I was to be alive, that I had the use of all of my senses, and that I was so very happy to do something normal like work a job. She thought I couldn’t possibly be doing my job if I had a smile on my face. Even to this day I am asked about why I smile all the time.
You see, my DON hated nursing, hated her job, and certainly acted like she hated anyone who wasn’t burnt out. One of the things I don’t like about nursing is how miserable upper management is allowed to practically torture others underneath them with cattiness. I just want to go in and do my job to the best of my ability, help my patients and be able to pay my bills. Standing in between me and what I need and want to do is my DON with a frown on her face.
She saw me smiling before lunch and came right up to me in my personal space, all the way in my face and angry. Have you finished your work? I replied yes, I finished everything that needed to be done on time. She asked me how many patients I had with wound care and other types of nursing procedures. After answering all her questions, and then she ushered me down the hall to point them all out to her as we were walking. She randomly chose one patient and wanted me to show her proof of what I claimed that I had done. I was happy to show her all the new dressings with my signature, date, and time written clearly on them in ink pen. She made a noise like humph and turned abruptly and walked out of the room leaving me to tend to my confused patient.
This made me not want to work there! I assure you this is one of the reasons for the nursing shortage. Upper management being mean, no support, long grueling hours without a thank you. The only thing on her mind was her making sure she got her bonus which she openly talked about. The final straw for me working here wasn’t the trip down the hallway but was over something silly like coffee.
I had asked the kitchen to not take away the coffee cart in the evening. I had several patients that would come out for coffee, and I too am also a coffee drinker. I was working back-to-back 16-hour shifts with very little sleep and they were going to dump the coffee down the drain anyway. Why waste it? So, they left the cart nightly for months until one evening my boss saw it out and made the kitchen take it back. I asked her why. Her response to me was that it was going to impact her bonus and the patients didn’t need the coffee anyway. I told her they were just throwing the coffee away so what did it matter if it was thrown down the drain or in thrown down into someone’s belly. She refused to answer except to continue to talk about her bonus. People can sometimes just be so unreasonable! After this I just couldn’t handle working there anymore with everything else I have on my plate.
I am still taking care of my handicapped child 24 hours a day unless I leave him in someone else’s care. I am grateful on a daily basis that I am alive and happy to have my health for the moment. I know that my good health isn’t going to last forever, I won’t live forever, and that I need to make use out of the time I have while I’m here. I have seen firsthand that life is a miracle! Not only from all the years I have been a nurse but also daily in taking care of my son. There is a saying, “There but for the grace of God, go I” and I live this daily from the moment I open my eyes and see all the beauty around me. You see I don’t take my eyes for granted because one of my son’s issues is that he is 100% blind. After I get up, I get to play with all my paints while I take care of my son Paul. We listen to music and sing while I work with a smile on my face because I am grateful that I even get to take care of him.
Cathy