I barely had my eyes opened as I tried to read the message on my phone. I had to lean over and grab my reading glasses because I couldn’t see very well. I tried to open my eyes up a little more. Then I read “I miss you, happy Valentine’s day” I looked to see who it was from and saw that it was from Wes. I smiled then started to cry. Wow, it’s amazing how Facebook brings up the memories of things you or others posted. It can be very emotional at times, as the memories take over. This was one of those times! I decided to share the memory and hit the reply “I miss you too Wes Smith!” Even though this message to me was posted to my Facebook wall 9 years ago.
I remember finding out my friend Sandy was pregnant, later finding out it was a boy. I remember how invested I was in him coming into the world. I was there at the hospital all night trying to help in any way I could. I was told by the nurse that he was nowhere near coming out, so I decided to run home and take a quick shower then come back. In the time I was gone he made his grand appearance, but I wasn’t there. I had outwardly joked around that I would be the one cutting the cord. I was actually dead serious about it though. At the very least I wanted to be there! I was happy to find out that his father was the one to cut the cord.
He came into the world surrounded by love. As he grew up, he had many humans around him that all wanted to help. He had an aura about him that drew people to himself. He never met a stranger, and everyone became fast and lifelong friends. I was one of those proud people. He was always in my heart even when we would lose touch because of moving or just life happening. Even though I moved out of state, I came back every week for a long time so that I could finish my sous chef certification. After that I slowed down how often I would come up.
The last time I saw Wes we were ghost hunting in Commerce, Oklahoma. He had so much fun that night! When I left, we hugged and said I love you to each other. Not long after that he sent me a message about wanting to come to Houston and move in with us to get his feet on the ground so he could start fresh in a new place. He told me about his plans for studying oceanography. He was so excited about the future. Not long after our last talk I get that call that nobody wants that let me know that he passed away in his sleep. I was devastated. He had so much promise for his life to have just stopped so suddenly.
They say that grief is the last act of love you can give to someone that you loved. You don’t stop loving someone just because the person is no longer with us. They also say that grief is all love you want to give but can’t express. Time is supposed to heal this, but it really doesn’t. It just changes its composition in a way. Today I can smile when I talk about Wes because I have mastered my feelings. I know his time although brief had an impact on the world that forever changed it for the positive. I will always love and miss him!
Here’s to all of us leaving our mark on the world with love!
I hope that we are all loving and kind to each other, that our work makes the world even just a little better.
I hope that we all leave a legacy that after we are gone people smile when they hear or read our name.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Cathy